A Salmagundi of Briar Pipe Shapes and Names: Difference between revisions

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I certainly don’t expect that anything will change, but highlighting all this should at least bring attention to the issue. It’s a free-will environment where a pipe maker can make whatever pipe shape he pleases and name it whatever he pleases. There are no rules to abide by. It’s an anything-goes, an age of call-it-what-you-will. In the absence of evidence, as you’ve read, some have ventured a guess, posited a theory, attempted an explanation. Here’s what Mark Twain said: “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—‘tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”  
I certainly don’t expect that anything will change, but highlighting all this should at least bring attention to the issue. It’s a free-will environment where a pipe maker can make whatever pipe shape he pleases and name it whatever he pleases. There are no rules to abide by. It’s an anything-goes, an age of call-it-what-you-will. In the absence of evidence, as you’ve read, some have ventured a guess, posited a theory, attempted an explanation. Here’s what Mark Twain said: “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—‘tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”  


No one has a complete picture of the names assigned to briar pipes, no one knows the entire story. An exacting typology or classification system for today’s briars does not exist. There is no U.S. industry-wide organization that sets standards or oversees the briar pipe trade as, say, Britain's Worshipful Company of Tobacco Pipe Makers & Tobacco Blenders, established in1619 as a trade association and originally “tasked with regulating the manufacture of clay tobacco pipes.” Today, it is involved with all aspects of the UK tobacco trade. There’s no industry pipe-shape-name playbook, nothing in print that approaches a comprehensive study. We’ve taken these pipe-shape names at face value; the names are too ingrained. The standards will prevail unless and until someone demonstrates a need to change them. Kim Tingley’s essay in ''The New York Times'' “Everywhere. Forever” (August 20, 2023) is about the per- and polyfluoroaroalkyl (PFAS) chemicals that are found in just about everything, sneakers and sanitary pads, pizza boxes and paint, furniture and fast-food wrappers, vinyl flooring and flamingos, and in hundreds of other everyday products. The CDC report conclusion about individuals exposed to PFAS caught my eye: “…insufficient evidence exists at this time to support deviations from established standards of medical care.” I have to say that this is also true about pipe-shape names.  
No one has a complete picture of the names assigned to briar pipes, no one knows the entire story. An exacting typology or classification system for today’s briars does not exist. There’s no industry pipe-shape-name playbook, nothing in print that approaches a comprehensive study. There is no U.S. industry-wide organization that sets standards or oversees the briar pipe trade as, say, Britain's Worshipful Company of Tobacco Pipe Makers & Tobacco Blenders, established in 1619 as a trade association and originally “tasked with regulating the manufacture of clay tobacco pipes.” Today, it is involved with all aspects of the UK tobacco trade. We’ve taken these pipe-shape names at face value; the names are too ingrained. The standards will prevail unless and until someone demonstrates a need to change them. Kim Tingley’s essay in ''The New York Times'' “Everywhere. Forever” (August 20, 2023) is about the per- and polyfluoroaroalkyl (PFAS) chemicals that are found in just about everything, sneakers and sanitary pads, pizza boxes and paint, furniture and fast-food wrappers, vinyl flooring and flamingos, and in hundreds of other everyday products. The CDC report conclusion about individuals exposed to PFAS caught my eye: “…insufficient evidence exists at this time to support deviations from established standards of medical care.” I have to say that this is also true about pipe-shape names.  


I did not find the Holy Grail, or the Delphic Oracle, or the Wise Man, or Darwin’s ''On the Origin of the'' [Pipe Name] ''Species''. Just like the tragic history of the search for the Fountain of Youth, I suspected that I would be unsuccessful in my search for the fountain of tobacco pipe phraseology. But it certainly wasn’t a waste of my time to research. It was a novel idea seeking a plausible explanation. I enjoyed comparing what most pipe smokers, pipe makers, and pipe sellers know about these names, but I didn’t find what I was looking for: answers to those Rumsfeldian known unknowns. That doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. It means that I failed to find them. And if such a study exists, it might be found in the archives of the NPA or the Tobacco Merchants Association.  
I did not find the Holy Grail, or the Delphic Oracle, or the Wise Man, or Darwin’s ''On the Origin of the'' [Pipe Name] ''Species''. Just like the tragic history of the search for the Fountain of Youth, I suspected that I would be unsuccessful in my search for the fountain of tobacco pipe phraseology. But it certainly wasn’t a waste of my time to research. It was a novel idea seeking a plausible explanation. I enjoyed comparing what most pipe smokers, pipe makers, and pipe sellers know about these names, but I didn’t find what I was looking for: answers to those Rumsfeldian known unknowns. That doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. It means that I failed to find them. And if such a study exists, it might be found in the archives of the NPA or the Tobacco Merchants Association.